Most people associate coffee with Colombia, as well as some other not so pleasant, though completely archaic, ideas about cocaine cartels, bombings and kidnappings. I've been in Medellin just shy of a year now and the only things that have really been a huge surprise to me are the hot dog condoms, the arepa police and the hot chocolate.
They didn't make individually wrapped sliced cheese when I was a child. I don't know if it didn't exist or if I had never been exposed to it, regardless of which case is true, I have certainly just defined my age and socioeconomic upbringing. I eventually got used to the idea of individually wrapped cheese slices, but I am having a little bit more difficulty with the idea of hot dog condoms. Each of the "salchichas" (hot dogs) in a package are individually wrapped here. The little wrapper, when removed looks like a little condom and would make my neighbors, who happened to dig in the trash back home, raise their eyebrows, wondering what went on all of the time in my house and raising some questions about endowment. Lucky for me, I only forgot to remove the "hot dog condom" one time. The results made a lasting impression when I took the first bite.
Moving on to another thing that I am still getting used to is the necessity; no the requirement to eat arepas every morning for breakfast. An arepa is a cross between a corn tortilla and a pancake. Their taste leans a little bit more toward a corn tortilla. Every household in Colombia is required by law to toast an arepa of some variety: white corn, yellow corn, chocolo, cheese filled or even whole wheat (this is for those Colombians watching their figure). Because I find this rather strange, there is a running joke in my house that if you don't eat an arepa for breakfast, the arepa police can arrest you and charge you. There is little leniency for non-arepa eating criminals and therefore, I assume that the punishment is stiff. I have been able to sneak past breakfast without an arepa a few times and thus far have not been caught, but I looked over my shoulder the entire day wondering when they would be coming to get me.
Though the other two seem a little bit crazy, I will have to admit that the hot chocolate is actually a special thrill. They don't use Swiss Miss in Colombia. Occasionally, the few who can afford it will mix Milo in milk and heat it up or drink it cold. It is very tasty, but to me, the traditional method for making hot chocolate is still the best. My wife claims that I have mastered this art and therefore, I must brag about my ability to melt the squares of chocolate perfectly, add the hot agua-panela (hardened sugar with the molasses still in it) in exactly the right amount and then pour in the milk to the precise level. Those of you who are still drinking Swiss Miss or some other gourmet brand of hot chocolate mix have no clue what real hot chocolate is supposed to taste like. Trust me, my wife says that I'm an expert.
So, if you happen to be interested in finding out exactly how this gringo from the backwoods of Colorado's mountains is getting along in his new home in Medellin. I'm tolerating hot dog condoms, avoiding the arepa police and have become an expert at making hot chocolate. What more could anyone ask for?
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